Effects of Being Constantly Abused

There is always a price to be paid for pain, a loss to be incurred by the recipient of abusive words and hurtful gestures. The cost is often unseen, an extensive, inner deprivation that can continue to damage the soul for a lifetime.
“The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life, but a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit.” (Proverbs 15:4)

Victims of Abuse May Experience:

Loss of self-worth Increased self-doubt
Loss of self-confidence Increased self-consciousness
Loss of faith Increased fear
Loss of happiness Increased emotional flatness
Loss of freedom Increased vigilance
Loss of inner peace Increased “peace-at-all-cost” behavior
Loss of self-assurance Increased anxiety
Loss of security Increased desire to escape
Loss of trust Increased distrust
Loss of sexual identity Increased sexual confusion
Loss of clear conscience Increased guilt or shame
Loss of friendship Increased isolation
Loss of self-perception Increased self-criticism
Loss of safety Increased insecurity
Loss of self-respect Increased self-destruction
Loss of optimism Increased pessimism
Loss of pride Increased self-hatred
Loss of hope Increased despair

What Self-demeaning Statements Result from Being Abused?

Place a check mark (Checkmark) beside any that apply to you.

  • “I am defective.”
  • “I am bad if I feel angry.”
  • “I am bad for having needs.”
  • “If I am good, I will be loved.”
  • “I am a worthless and unlovable person.”
  • “Mistakes only confirm my worthlessness.”
  • “If people I care about reject me, I must be unlovable.”
  • “I need the approval of other people in order to be happy.”
  • “I am responsible for the behavior and feelings of those around me.”
  • “I am responsible for bringing about change in others when I see that it is needed.”
  • “I must be dependent on others who are wiser and stronger than I am.”
  • “The feelings of others are more important than my own.”
  • “I need to be independent because others are untrustworthy.”
  • “I will never let anyone get close enough to hurt me again.”
  • “Everything I do is wrong—I can’t do anything right.”
  • “Nothing matters anymore; life is hopeless.”
  • “Bad love is better than no love at all.”
  • “Whatever you want makes me happy.”
  • “I will never measure up.”
  • “I don’t see any way out.”

Article Used by Permission from Hope for the Heart©

Scripture, unless otherwise indicated, taken from the Holy Bible, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by Biblica, Inc. All rights reserved worldwide. Used by permission.

June Hunt

June Hunt

June Hunt, M.A. Criswell College, is a biblical counselor whose award-winning radio program "Hope For The Heart" is heard on 900 radio outlets around the world. For more than 25 years, she has counseled people, offering them hope for today's problems. June has helped many people with emotional, relational, and spiritual problems experience God's love through biblical hope and practical help. Click here to find out more about Hope for the Heart.

Hope For The Heart Board of Reference

Dr. Henry Blackaby (Blackaby Ministries International), Dr. Rick Warren (Saddleback Church), Dr. Tony Evans (The Urban Alternative), Joni Eareckson Tada (Joni and Friends), Kay Arthur (Precept Ministries International), Dr. David Jeremiah (Turning Point), Dr. Tim Clinton (American Association of Christian Counselors), Dr. Bruce Wilkinson (Bruce Wilkinson Ministries), Dr. Chip Ingram (Living on the Edge), Roger Staubach (SRS Real Estate Partners), Steve Arterburn (New Life Ministries), Vonette Bright (Campus Crusade for Christ), Dr. Charles Stanley (In Touch Ministries), Zig Ziglar (Ziglar Training Systems)

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